THE DIARY 12: The Beauty of Aging

Carmen Dell Orefice for Vogue Czechoslovakia by Albert Watson

I have been reading, “Bare Blass,” the memoirs of designer Bill Blass, and a paragraph dedicated to the legendary fashion editor Diana Vreeland caught my attention. “She never had a sense of time, and I don’t think it was that ploy of being important when she arrived…,” he writes. “Time, like age, simply meant nothing to her.” Lucky Diana.

For most of us, age - and aging - means a lot. Besides the fear of physical transformations that come with age - the back pain, the sun spots, the wrinkles! - there’s often a creeping anxiety about being left behind, isolated, losing one’s place in society, and becoming, as many have described before, invisible.

Fashion, pop culture, and advertising have been traditionally cruel in this area, often submitting us - and particularly women - to a culture where there’s no space to grow old. Beauty products, face lifts, manic exercise, cosmetic treatments, implants here and there…everything is valid in the battle for youth. Young is good. Old is bad. That is the reverberating message. We are expected to be active, involved, vibrant, beautiful, and sexy even in our 70’s or 80’s. Don’t let go. Live until you die!

Iris Apfel via Vogue, photograph by Luis Monteiro

But this is, of course, a futile war. Try too hard, and you end up criticized like Madonna, in vile comments online because, “her face looks weird,” because she doesn’t act her age, her boyfriend is too young, her fashion too extreme. She is trolled because defiant as always, the star continues doing things her own way, breaking through with her own bold style and grace. We say brava! The cultural waves around age, however, seem to have shifted in the last few years. Old is new again and there’s a kind of, “oldquake,” that, just to give it a name, we will call this the Iris Apfel effect. The bespectacled, eccentric - yet warm and approachable - heavily accessorized fashion icon not only is 100 years old - yep, 100 - but celebrated her centennial with a cover in the Arabian edition of Harper’s Bazaar, collaborations with H&M and Ciate London, and more recently, a whimsical collection of washable rugs inspired in her personal style. True invention and entrepreneurial spirit doesn’t have an end date. Like Iris, we are living longer and better, and culture is taking notice.

Suddenly, older icons are everywhere. Shortly before dying at 87, writer Joan Didion posed in dark sunglasses for Celine. (The sunglasses sold later in auction for $27,000). Legendary model Carmen Dell’Orefice, who started her career at 15 in 1945, just appeared on the April cover of Vogue Czechoslovakia photographed by Albert Watson. She is now 91. Saint Laurent recently launched a new campaign, “Director’s cut,” with four famous film directors: Abel Ferrara, David Cronenberg, Jim Jarmusch, and Pedro Almodovar, all in their 70’s and 80’s, as models of cool and style. David Byrne, now 70, performed and was nominated for Best Song at this year’s Oscars. Byrne remains a tireless creative force innovating across genres from broadway, to film, to the digital metaverse, flipping norms and seeing things through a lens only he carries. 

David Byrne, via Entertainment Weekly, Photo Credit: Shervin Lainez

Joan Didion in Celine by Jürgen Teller for the Celine Campaign SS15

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Fashion, pop culture, and advertising have been traditionally cruel in this area, often submitting us - particularly women - to a culture where there’s no space to grow old. Beauty products, face liftings, maniac exercise, cosmetic treatments, implants here and there…everything is valid in the battle for youth. We are expected to be active, involved, vibrant, beautiful and sexy even in our 70’s or 80’s. Why not? Young is good. Old is bad. That is the message . . . but this is, of course, a futile war.

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David Cronenburg in Saint Laurent SS23 Campaign by David Sims

Jim Jarmusch in Saint Laurent SS23 Campaign by David Sims

Abel Ferrara in Saint Laurent SS23 Campaign by David Sims

Pedro Almodovar Saint Laurent SS23 Campaign by David Sims

Anna Wintour is 73. Bill Gates is 67. The president of the United States is 80. And though the phrase, “age is just a number,” sometimes sounds like a mantra of denial, it is true that some of the most influential people in the world are looking at middle age far in the rearview mirror and continue to lead lives with the strength, power, and excitement that we mostly associate with the young. 

It’s time to change our perception. We are living longer and bringing with us all of our lived experience, collected lessons, evolving style, and hopefully, grace, that comes with time. At 61, I am personally well aware of this. Like the renowned NY socialite Pat Buckley once said, “After 50 you start to feel like you are having breakfast every 15 minutes.” Time moves faster.

My plan is to enjoy life and make the best of it for as long as I can.